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A Typical Day In The Life Of A Typical Med Student

     Dat Le Med Student

*Two eager MS1s, Main Character(MC) and his Buddy, Deepak, are walking side by side and talking to each other*

MC: Man, MS1 year is way too hard. If I knew what I was getting into, I wouldn’t have came

Deepak: Yeah…. I just wish we knew what to do
MC: I know right. If only there was a guide on how to ask out med school girls. Everybody is either married, engaged, or have absolutely no interest in me.

Deepak: Yeah…what if…..what if we’re just not their type?
MC: I can’t believe you’re saying this. What’s our motto?
Deepak: I know I know…

MC: What’s our motto?[
*Together*: No does not mean no, No means “Ask me again later”

MC: That’s right, now let’s go to this class party, maybe this is our night!

*They arrive at the class party*

MS1 #1: Hey guys!! Everybody ready for the STUDY PARTY!?!? I brought my anatomy book!
MS1 #2: I spend 8 hours a day in the library!!
MS1 #3 (Tommy): I ask way too many questions during class!!

 

MC: Alright, study party!! *high fives all around*

*MC and Deepak joins the students*

Student 1: *Checks cell phone* OMG guys, test scores are out!!
Everybody pulls out their phones simultaneously

Student 2: Oh no….omg….

Student 1: What happened?? Did you fail??
Student 2: I made an 87….I Asian Failed….

Tommy: Oh no …..

Student 1: Oh….did you Asian Fail too?
Tommy:……no…..

Student 1: Oh…


MC: Guys, med school’s pretty awesome and everything, but did you ever think there’s more to med school than just Asian Passing?
Students: Like what?
MC: Deeps?

*Song about a whole new world with girls to the tune of A Whole New World*

 

Tommy: My god, you’ve opened my eyes to a whole new world

*Three cute girls arrive at the study session*
Girl 1: Excuse me, I’m a single Christian Indian girl. I’m trying to find a study group and I’m new here so I don’t know which guys are too sketchy to study with.

Deepak: Wow, she’s….perfect

Girl 1: And this is my friend. She’s not married
MC: Wow…..she’s perfect

*Guys huddle around excitedly, whispering about who should be first to talk to the girls. They finally decide on MC after a game of rock paper scissors

 

Tommy: Alright, these girls are hot, don’t mess this up. Whatever you do, don’t be awkward

MC: Alright, I got this

 

*As MC talks to himself, his thoughts are heard overhead*

*MC: Don’t be awkward, don’t be awkward*
MC: Oh heyyyyy ladies, you uhh…. Come here often????
MC: *Nooooo, that was soooo awkward!!*

 

*Girls huddle around, and after a game of rock paper scissors, the loser dejectedly talks to MC*

Girl 2: Oh hey…no, we uhh, only come here to study…by ourselves

*Girl 2: God, maybe they’ll get the hint that we want to be alone*

Deepak: Hmm maybe they don’t get the hint that we want to hang out*

Deepak: So…..are you guys doing anything later?
Girl 3: Oh yeah we’re actually pretty busy

*Other girls make sounds of agreement*
Girl 1: Yeah, we’d hang out if we didn’t have so many things to do

*Girl 1: We don’t want to hang out*

*Guys whispering among themselves: They do want to hang out!*

Tommy: Oh okay, so what are the chances you’re free later? Like, one in ten?

Girl 1: Uhh probably more like one in ten million

*MC: So there’s a chance!! They like us!*
*Girl: Ugh, they like us*

*Guys and girls break into song based on Summer Love from Grease, guys sing about how the girls like them, girls sing about how the guys are creepers*

 

*The guys high-five, but turn around to see the girls have all left*

MC: Wait, what happened to all the girls?

Tommy: I think they all left…
Deepak: What if….what if we’re not as smooth as we think we are…?

MC: Oh man…I think you’re right.*looks to the heavens*
MC: I know I don’t talk to you very often, but…. I really need you right now. I’m going through a major life crisis. Please…            

*Disembodied voice*: Rise my son
MC: Jesus?
Dr. Wagner: No, it’s Dr. Wagner. Seems to me like you guys could use some love advice

Tommy: But Dr. Wagner, aren’t you a pediatrician?
Deepak: To be fair, he is married, so he’s had at least one girlfriend

*Sounds of agreement from the guys*

Dr. Wagner: In order to win a girl’s heart, you have to create the illusion that you are listening to what they’re saying

Dr. Wagner: Here’s what you do: Tommy, whatever she says, just ask questions. Deepak, whatever the girl says, just repeat it in a different way. And Dat, whatever you usually say, just say the exact opposite

MC: Gee, thanks Dr. Wagner!
Deepak: You’re the best!!
Dr. Wagner: you’re welcome kids, oh and btw…

*Takes off his sweater vest, showing that he’s wearing another sweater vest underneath, and gives it to the guys*
Dr. Wagner: This has served me well over the years, maybe it’ll be of use to you

*Sounds of thanks from the guys, and they walk off to the girls once more*

 

Tommy: Oh hey guys, how was your day today?
Girl 1: It’s been so tiring, we’re having a lot of trouble memorizing Renal

Deepak: Yeah Renal is hard to memorize, you guys must be really tired

*Girls show budding interest*

*MC thinking aloud to himself: We should totally study together*
MC: Uhh….We should probably not study together….or else we’d just distract you guys
Girl 2: Wow, thanks! You’re so understanding.
Girl 3: You guys are actually kinda nice, what’s your name? *To Tommy*

Tommy: Uhh……no…what’s your name??
Girl 3: Oh haha, no I’m serious, what’s your name?
Tommy: uhhh….What’s in a name anyway, that which we call a Rose by any other name would smell as sweet right??
Girl 2: Wow, that’s so romantic, I love romantic guys, don’t you? *To Deepak*
Deepak: Uh…..I like romantic guys too, like Shakespeare, and Beethoven, and Mozart.
Girl 1: And you’re so well-read. So are you guys free later?
*MC: Yes! Yes!! Yes!!!*

MC: Uhhh, no, we have uh….things to do, like studying

Deepak and Tommy (together): We’re free!!!

Girls: Okay, I know this great club!!  Have fun studying Dat!!

MC: NOOoooO!!!!!!!!

 

Dat Le (son of Mộng Hoa YKH15)

"Medical school student from Dallas,TX"
 

 

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